THE EUKEY DEUKEY TREE

STRANGE AND NOT TRUE

THE EUKEY DEUKEY TREE

(ookee dookee)

Revised "a little" from a mid sixties story by Dick Carmack.

In La Plata County, southwestern Colorado, in the year of 1858, an innocent named Sam Sampson was tried, found guilty and hung by the neck until almost dead, for the crime of poaching.

With his almost last gurgle, as the knotted rope cut off his breath Sam gasped "It's true! It's true!"

Sam was my great grandfather so I know this story is true. He was born in 1802, month of May, high in the La Plata mountains. Snow was still on the ground and ice in the trees, that kind that snaps and crackles like an "oat” cereal. Gold was flowing out of the mountains in rivers of pack-trains and the Indians were on the move, fighting desperately the weather and the white man alike in an effort to stay alive.

When Sam was a week old he was deserted by his father and left to die wrapped in an old brown blanket on a wind-blown hillside. Great great granddaddy Sampson was a chicken-on-the-run with the Indians hot behind.

Big Chief Hole In The Head (called so because he always had his mouth wide-open) found the white child and took him to raise, determined to make him a better Indian than Daddy Sampson was a white man.

Billy B. Walker, a fat man with a round head and red eyes was a hot-shot lawyer from Denver who knew how to get things done. By 1840 he had convinced the Territorial Governor of Colorado that an indigenous specie of tree known locally as the "Eukey Deukey," was the scourge of the mountains, was a threat to civilization and had to go. If not wiped completely out, at least they should pass a law against it. Billy didn't like Eukey Deukeys because he couldn't catch one and being a wide man with a narrow mind he decided that if he couldn't have one nobody else should be allowed to enjoy its fruits. Kinda like the dog in the manger.

With a little illegal lubrication the proclamation was made by the Governor and was one of the greatest miscarriages of justice America has ever witnessed, second only to the first.

The world hardly knew of the passing of the Eukey Deukey tree, many had never heard of it, a few had seen it and a handful had even caught one. When you hunted Eukey Deukeys it took skill and dedication, qualities that folks like Billy B. Walker lacked in abundance. The implements of hunting an Eukey Deukey were simple: You needed a sharp knife, a good pair of eyes, two strong legs and a pardner.

The first thing was to spot an Eukey Deukey. Next was to line up your pardner so he could keep his eyes on it while your job was to plunge madly off the trail, risking your neck, sliding and jumping to the bottom of the canyon, then driving yourself unmercifully up the other side to the top of the next mountain, all the while hoping desperately that once you got to the top the Eukey Deukey would still be there! Once in a great while it would be, more often it would not.

The Eukey Deukey always played by the rules and the rules were these:

            1. Only two to a hunting party.

            2. As long as your pard never took his eyes off it, the Eukey Deukey was rooted where it stood.

            3. Once your pard looked away, even for an instant (a blink counts), the Eukey Deukey could    change canyons if it wanted to.

After running up and down about three canyons, most hunters gave up in disgust and went home. Billy B. Walker had terrible luck with shifty-eyed pardners.

But Sam and Chief Hole In The Head made a fine hunting pair and enjoyed the fruit of the Eukey Deukey just about anytime they wanted. Sam, with red hair flaming (a tourist actually tried to roast a wiener over it one time when Sam was taking a nap) would act like oak brush in the fall until an Eukey Deukey came into view. He would then nod his head (like the wind was blowing) in the right direction so Chief Hole In The Head could spot the Eukey Deukey and then while the Chief stood with mouth wide open Sam would saunter lazily across the canyon and cut off a fruit or two. Throwing the meat across his back, Sam would then walk back to camp. Sam was so slow the Chief actually went to sleep most of the time just standing there but that great black hole gaping in his head looked like "A big black eye" to the Eukey Deukey.

In the spring of '58 Sam had been on an Eukey Deukey hunt and while packing in his catch he lay down for a nap. Upon waking he became confused and by accident wandered into the town of Hayfield. There he was promptly arrested, tried and found guilty of poaching. Sam protested but to no avail. Billy B. Walker, the venerable old sot from Denver was by chance passing through Hayfield in his open touring car that day and when he saw the excitement and spotted the Eukey Deukey he absolutely went crazy!

"At last! At last!," he finally had one in his grasp! He jumped out of his car and ran up the street screaming and wringing his hands in pure ecstasy!

The townspeople of Hayfield went right ahead with the business of the day, the hanging of Sam Sampson for killing deer out of season (Note: the Eukey Deukey tree grows fruit that looks and tastes just like venison! All you have to do is cut 'em off, cook 'em and eat 'em!).  However, just as the rope tightened on Sam's Adams Apple, Big Chief Hole In The Head appeared over the ridge.

The Chief promptly mesmerized (or hypnotized) the crowd with his open mouth, walked leisurely down the hill, pushed the Eukey Deukey into Billy B's outstretched arms, cut the rope from around Sam's neck and packed his adopted son off up the canyon.

Billy B. got his Eukey Deukey, Sam got the rope off his neck and the Chief was glad to git shut of the whole nutty outfit.